For those who fail to recognise the significance of the term “Ivory Throne”, I happened to chance upon it during my younger days as a bartender while listing synonyms for vomiting in the toilet (it was a quiet pub, we had a lot of time to kill). Other wonderful phrases that I have learned through the course of this quest to creatively describe one of drunkendom’s most beloved activities include:
- “Hugging the porcelain wishing well”;
- “Communicating with God (usually followed with mimicking cries of “*Barf* Oh God…”);
- “Calling for Hughie”;
- “Making a call on the great white telephone”;
- and of course, the source of my inspiration for this blog, “Bowing down before the Ivory Throne”.
For those who fail to recognise the significance of naming a blog after a crapper, though, this decision serves as a double-edged sword. For one, the toilet bowl happens to be one of the most inspirational places we visit, giving birth to many great inventions, ideas, songs, and even poems (I’ll prove all these when I get my research papers in order, they’re all in there somewhere). As well, this blog, like many others, serves as an outlet for my frustrations, so now you know where all this is going.